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Single Me Out.
Hi Lola,
I have one big problem. I am a single guy. I am and have always been interested in the swingers lifestyle. unfortunately where i live in the southern Caribbean its taboo big time taboo.
Afew of us here were forming a swingers club, and my x and I were main members. we broke up and the other main couple broke off their relationship and from there the club dissappeared. as we were just getting together at that time.
I find it hard to even get into another relationship now, as my open minded thinking always causes a problem. and i am not good at pretending. (eg, if i dont get upset when the woman i am seeing flirts with a man it signals that i dont care)
I would really like to meet a woman who is already comfortable with the lifestyle, but every group I come into contact with are only friendly to couples and single females.
Any advice on what i could do.
I have seen guys hire prostitutes to enter couples only clubs and events. but i had an experience with a couple like that before and felt really cheated, so i wont want to do that to any group. please advise if possible.
been to hedo 3 a few times and was treated ok by at least some of the couples, however i feel like i am at a BYOB party empty handed and drinking everyone elses beer.
TriniMan4U
Dear TriniMan4U
I TRULY appreciate your email. You've asked some really great questions here. While being very familiar with the Carribbean culture you are indeed correct that alternative LifeStyles such as swinging , homosexuality, kink etc are a HUGE cultural taboo. Kudos to you for knowing 'who you are' and your LifeStyle preference. Yet the flip side is that due to where you reside you are at a disadvantage for local cultural acceptance. At this point you must REALISTICALLY evaluate if Trinidad is the best place for you to fulfill the happiness you seek.
While you may have deep routed family ties in the islands if you are not happy and can not find a life partner you may need to consider relocating to a geographical region where your LifeStyle is more accepted. As, living in a 'compromised state' could lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and bitterness and truly effect the dealings you have with relationships around you. They say, misery loves company. In the mean time consider joining swinger websites that hold an international data base, such as AdultFriendFinder.com. The great thing about joining an online community, is that you can cultivate friendships. While finding local events and parties to attend may be difficult, the more active you are online and making connections the faster word will spread that you are indeed a 'single male' to get to know. Many websites now allow members to validate & certify other members, which is wonderful for you. This way others will have comfort in reaching out to you with less reservations. As more and more couples and single females befriend you, you'll notice that your social network will grow, in turn giving you greater probability for meeting a partner. We all know the islands is a destination for lovers, many of those who are swingers. Your online profile will be useful in meeting new traveling friends who will be visiting . If you decide to stay local OR decide to make that 'move' -in the mean time you'll be able to cultivate some great friendships even if they are tourists.
Be Well, Be You...
Kisses,
Lola
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