COLOR BLIND

We have to admit, since launching HedoOnline.com and writing features based on our own experiences along with the emails and comments our visitors send us-this is the most disturbing piece we've had to publish. We will not attempt to sound eloquent or mince words. This feature comes on the heels on another feature we previously posted entitled:   “ The Lifestyle in Black and White ”. What's ironic about us writing this particular feature is that we collected emails from people who are not satisfied with the quality of people and racial mix at some of the most marketed lifestyle party events in NYC and the tri state area-What's ironic is-most of these members who wrote to us…. are white!

If you've ever attended any of the US east coast's popular lifestyle events you will have noticed that there are very few patrons of color in attendance. We thought that after we launched and ultimately introduced new members to some of these party brands that they would change their marketing practices somewhat to seem more inclusive by adding people of color to their flyers and web advertisements.   Time does usually reveal a change, and more time may be needed to adjust, but with the overwhelming emails we received, we could no longer ignore this on-going practice by those who claim to have the sexiest and hottest members at their events.

First of all-we must ask ourselves…do they want people of color there? Specifically, Black, Hispanic, and Asian. Sure there are always a few, but they are always the exception. At one event we actually saw people of color be turned away at the door who employed all the sexy qualities one would love to have in attendance at an erotic affair. We were baffled as to why they were denied entry. When we inquired about why they were denied- Astonishingly, the answer we were told was: “ He said he didn't want to turn his party into a “Hip Hop and Salsa event ” Wow!   Though, we are in no way naïve about the mind set of society when it comes to race- an ignorant and insensitive statement like that, from a promoter in the lifestyle is disturbing. Aside from the fact that the couple in question was not only well dressed and sexy as ever, they were a couple invited by another couple in attendance. [Who happened to be white!]? What we found even more insidious is that some of those who are allowed entry, especially in large number groups are made to feel uncomfortable as to have them filter themselves out of the mix, This is NOT the lifestlye.

We'll be real honest here, and I know it makes some still feel very uncomfortable and I know most, quite frankly don't give a damn.   Most of the lifestyle parties we've reviewed are event's where white members only communicate and mingle with other white members. Usually young and pretentious! They pay a premium to experience the same EXACT party every month with the same exact people. They are not interested in new ideas-just picture taking to compare breast jobs to be posted the next morning on some adult social site. You cannot claim to have the best party with the sexiest couples and single females when you do not include all members in the lifestyle. That's like saying Pepsi is the best soda, when Coca Cola wasn't even allowed to enter the contest.

More interesting, is the fact that we are getting emails on a daily basis from those who make it a point to identify themselves (with pictures) as lifestyle members who are white and are dissatisfied with this ugly trend and have vowed to cease attending these events. The members who identified themselves as Black and Hispanic simply stated…and this is a direct quote from one email: “ They get off on thinking they are better than you. They aren't in the lifestyle, they just got duped by a promoter who enjoys being around his friends and made them pay $75 dollars to get in. They should just say it's a private party for whites only ” end quote.

We must say we're starting to agree.

With that said…. There are underground adult lifestyle events that do employ an openness and welcoming attitude from a marketing standpoint and it is evident in their attendance. You can EASILY identify these sites because they are “ faceless ”-such as the one you're on right now. They usually have you fill out an extensive questionnaire that helps them determine your entry from a mind set point of view. NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE AND WHAT YOUR RACIAL MAKE UP IS! And they want to keep it that way .

All of our staff here at HedoOnline.com come from many cultural backgrounds and most are at various levels in the lifestyle. They are our party scouts and unbeknownst to most promoters-attend their events on an on going basis and have also witnessed these horrid practices. We shamefully and now admittedly, have glossed over this issue with the hopes that by only offering certain information-one could make an educated decision as to which brands they want to support. Now we have the task of exposing those promoters who don't employ the true spirit of the lifestyle-as an event for ALL—particularly, when it is marketed as such.

We now have readers globally and we continue to attend lifestyle events nationally as well as abroad, and still believe that individual preferences rule. But it's NOT up to promoters to make that decision for their customers- especially when people of color are members of their sites and continue to patronize their businesses.

HedoOnline.com has planned an Awards event entitled the “ Sybarite Awards Erotic Bash ” a celebration of the best lifestyle businesses and ALL members within the lifestyle. We are an INCLUSIVE brand that brings together those new to the lifestyle along with seasoned members to select adult social sites, party brands, and vacation destinations. We promise to be more cognizant in our assessment of the companies we offer to you as respected and prominent businesses within the lifestyle. Please join us this spring 2008 by adding yourself to the guest list. We are producing a lifestyle interactive event like no other. An adult fantasyland created in a safe, classy, decorated, venue to enhance your visual pleasures. The Sybarite Erotic Bash is for the most uninhibited couples and single females in NYC…. for one night…once a year. Sign up today, we'd love to have you.

Be Well & Be YOU! ~ Lola & Devon