If you've ever wondered why quite a few of the most popular lifestyle party promoters ask to see a photo of you and your mate only to be passed over to an invitation to their exclusive events. You need to read the rest of this short, but to-the-point piece.

Devon and I pride ourselves in being down to earth individuals, and tend to be relatively non-judgmental when it comes to people …especially from a distance. But businesses within the lifestyle may not share the same views. There are those who harshly judge our lifestyle choices for various reasons, but moreover, they fail to recognize that outside of these choices-we react in the real world to the same stimuli as they do, just with the added benefit of having sexual freedoms most only wish they could come to realize. With that being said-those in the lifestyle should not for one moment believe that outside of us sharing a common view point that we won't continue to experience the same judgmental views, shallow as they may seem, especially when it comes to making money and specifically, as it pertains to those who view us within the lifestyle .

Many new and seasoned "players" in the lifestyle wishing to venture out into the world of hedonistic play, soon realize that the "lifestyle" can be a very segmented and segregated society where the gateway of admission to lifestyle events is based solely on one's appearance and so-called personality traits. This produces the bitter taste of rejection and ultimately disdain toward those who you thought were friends like you . We wish we could bang the drum of intolerance here, but that would be to no avail, because most of the popular lifestyle parties and events produced by young and "sexy" promoters cater to a crowd that resemble themselves in order to maintain an aura of exclusivity. Though some of these promoters ask couples   to write a little something about themselves to help determine if they have the "right" look and personality to attend their events-based on our assessment of the attendees at these events ...let's just say, we figure personality must count for something. Regardless of the aforementioned, you alone must decide whether or not you want to be affiliated with these groups and events. No need to get mad about it. It's just like a bad show on television-you don't like it-change the channel. We don't necessarily approve of this selection process, but it is what it is. As a couple, we   tend to not ponder on the "why not us?" for any length of time in any aspect of our lives that we cannot control, and it is our hope that you won't either.

Fortunately, there are many other groups and party owners who look past one's appearance and are more concerned with the "people" aspect of   the lifestyle. These groups tend to be a little older and have less hanging ups about their looks. They know how to have a good time just as any other group-without the disheartening judgments. Whether you're attracted initially or not, these groups tend to be a "straight from the hip" kind of   people where friendships are more in the forefront.

Ultimately, it is your responsibility to venture together into relationships that make you feel good. Isn't that the reason you made your lifestyle choice? Keep searching until you both feel comfortable with the choices and people you desire to maintain your healthy, fun, lifestyle experiences.

Lola and Devon. Be well. Be you.