Could you really watch your spouse engaged in hot, sweat dripping sex with someone else?   I should clarify…with some one of the opposite sex? Okay,…could you watch your wife perform fellatio on another man-then have sweat dripping sex as she calls HIS name? How would you feel inside? How will you react? Are you less of a man because of this?

We've always written articles with the hopes that all could find something about the lifestyle that might be of help, but articles such as the one before you, is most certainly for you, the “newbie”, in particular. For, the seasoned male in the lifestyle is no longer confronted with these questions…if he were-it wouldn't make any sense to me . If you've been in the lifestyle for years and the sight of watching your wife/girlfriend have sex with someone still makes you uneasy, only to return for more-then you're retarded. Just kidding, but you've got some real issues to deal with.

We're all creatures of our environment and most succumb to the pressures of societal norms. Your journey into manhood certainly didn't involve you sharing your wife with other men. But somehow you and your wife arrived here and have decided that this is who you are and it makes you both feel good. Yeah, we've all seen our beer buddies cringe during those sophomoric sex conversations with those “ Would you ever let your wife …” questions. These thoughts go through your mind as you've reached every gateway level of the lifestyle. The girls kissing and touching as you watched--You dealt with that with flying colors. Now, you both meet another hot couple and damn! All those whispers in her ear during your sex sessions about in her “hypothetically” pleasing another man are real…she wants him…and he's packing. “ Can I really go through with this?” Is my manhood at stake?

The answer to this is quite simply. No.

You have to remember-be happy with who you are. Be aware and happy that you can share your feelings, especially your sexual feelings with someone you love and trust. Many men can't, won't and don't ever share how they truly feel with their wives, because of that big ugly monster called “ ego” . Yet, with hardly any, if no reluctance, let their feelings known to a group of other men to gain support that helps validate their lack of confidence and self-esteem.

Sex is a very complex phenomenon. Men who continue to enjoy the fruits of a loving and passionate relationship within the lifestyle, take pride in the fact that they can allow their wives to enjoy life and the things that make them feel good also. Participating in the lifestyle has given them the gift of “ possibilities ”. It takes a man—a real man who embodies, confidence, trust, love, compassion, unselfishness, humility, and a woman who shares those same values, to share the things that allows total freedom to express all that is possible in your journey in life together.

So if you have reservations about crossing another threshold of   your sexual experiences-check yourself. Be honest with yourself. Be a man. Be well. Be you.

Devon……and yeah Lola was somewhere in the room.